The Monkey asks - would YOU make a moron like this your CEO? Seriously, look at this guy! He looks more like a monkey than the Monkey does!
Back story behind the Monkey's hostility:
1. 2010: Mark Hurd has to go and get jiggy with the secretary or some shit. Has to fall on his sword.
2. HPQ stock gets lit up like Stringer Bell during the penultimate episode of Season 3 of "The Wire" (R.I.P., Strang!)
3. After a little while, and as the charts start to look better, the Monkey goes long HPQ. Rationale being that the markets of course have overreacted to Mark Hurd's failure to keep his cock in his pants and that this is a decent buy on valuation. PLUS! When HPQ announces their new CEO they'll get a pop, right? Cause a company that big is going to want to land a pretty big fish and calm the waters roiled by Mark Hurd Cock-gate.
4. But then HPQ has to go and get in a bidding war (AND WIN) to buy some off-brand piece of shit cloud computing company. There goes 5 percent right there.
5. But still the CEO announcement is in the works - certainly this will come to the rescue of the Monkey's fast-deteriorating ITM calls.
6. But who does HPQ pick?
THIS FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!
Who, at the moment he was being announced as CEO, was literally hiding somewhere trying to duck service of process on some European lawsuit.
What, HPQ? Was the homeless meth addict down on the exit ramp with the sign saying "Please help God Bless" not available at the time? What the fuck!?!?!?!?! (And this, of course, was pretty much the collective reaction of the markets as well.)
SO this trade did not exactly enter the Pantheon of Legendary Monkey Banana-making exploits. And the Monkey has HATED HPQ and in particular this goofy-ass jerkoff ever since.
