Within the past hour the Monkey has seen literally SIX commercials for something called "MagicJack" (whatever that is) where they've got some dude named Abby Wambach from the US World Cup soccer team as a spokesman.
Now the Monkey would be no kind of euro-phile at all without quite liking futbol. And he does NOT remember anybody by this name being on the World Cup team. Clint Dempsey? Landon Donovan? Yeah, those were the big stars. So was this Wambach guy one of the subs or some shit? And why are we seeing him six times an hour? The Monkey is confused.
So past that there has been, let's see, at least one of the spots where that porn skank advertises the Quibids scam. At least three spots for stamps.com.
What the fuck? Isn't CNBC supposed to be "#1 with affluent viewers?" Why the off-brand line-up of ads more suited for "Paternity Tests vol MXLVII" on "Maury?"
And it is NOT the local cable system. The Monkey travels constantly on business and sees the same crazy shit in every locale.
Some points to CNBC for ditching the CENEGENICS spots that were so ubiquitous last year. "How does THIS 55 year-old have such a hard-core, rocked-out body!?!?!?!?!"
Well the Monkey can tell you (being a talented graphic designer, as you can see here)
IT'S CALLED PHOTOSHOP!!!!!!!!!
"The desire is just..... CONSTANT!!!!!"
(Yeah, the desire by the 60 year-old actor dude for the 35 year-old actress who is supposed to be his wife or something.)
OOOOH! The 2011 version of Cenegenics rears its head with the now-ubiquitous beenverified spots. Much to say about that but it will have to be some other time, as the Monkey now needs to get ready to get out there and rip some some faces off.
