Somebody please tell the Monkey who this guy is!

Like every morning, CNBC runs this spot approximately every two minutes. And like every morning, the Monkey remains confused as to why MagicJack is relying so heavily on a US World Cup player. Wasn't the World Cup all the way back in 2010? And again, the Monkey remembers Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, and Jozy Altidore from that team. Abby Wambach? Not so much.

It would be like if MagicJack wanted to get one of the 2011 Cleveland Indians as a spokesman and settled on Jack Hanahan or Shelly Duncan. (For the uninitiated, these are far less prominent names than the likes of Asdrubal Cabrera, "Glass" Grady Sizemore, and Travis "look at how my power numbers have diminished once they started testing for steroids" Hafner.)

FUCK! There he is again! The Monkey MUST figure out what this dude's story is.